In the Christian Life there comes, from time to time, moments when we get to see how far God has brought us; today was such a day. Lately, I've been bringing in some of my family's scrap books for my younger co-workers to see and today I brought in my old college yearbooks. Now, I don't know about you, but I can't help flipping through a yearbook, so I did. The pictures haven't changed in 16 years, but I was seeing something new - what I missed.
You see I was a brand new Christian when I walked through the doors of OBC (Tyndale) back in September of 1995 and fitting in was difficult. Not only was fitting in difficult, living into my new identity seemed impossible. Everybody else seemed so good and Christ-centred and pure, while I had to fight to keep the swear words inside my head and a variety of other old habits which died hard. So, I realized today that while I was physically present, I never really entered into the community of OBC. Instead, I, like so many of my favourite literary characters, remained alienated from the community. And today looking back I grieve because I see more clearly now, just what I missed.
Following this trip down memory lane, it was time for chapel - an event I try never to miss - and God began to speak. I was particularly moved by the hymn "It Is Well". This is one of my life hymns which pack so much into its few stanzas, but today I was hearing even more than usual. So often, this hymn becomes my own assertion that "It Is Well", as well as powerful theology which moves through salvation to glorification, but today I was hearing even more. I was hearing God speak a promise - "It will be well."
This was deeply emotional, so I don't know if my simple words can communicate the full impact of this overwhelming promise, but it was so real, so assuring, "David, it will be well." And while the promise is future oriented, somehow it reaches back into my past, my wasted and frustrated past and promises that it too shall be well. And so then the tears begin to well up in my eyes, because once again God's grace is far deeper than my knowledge and experience and I know it will be well. But there was more because this isn't just a life hymn or a promise from God this is a hymn tied up with personal history - Aunt Sharebear!
In my second semester of school I took Christian Life and Discipleship. This was a course which seemed to promise to fix me with a professor, Steven Thomson, who I would have loved to become like. But, there are no silver bullets in the Christian Life and proximity does not guarantee character transformation, so I continued to struggle. But on a break I went to spend some time at my Uncle Rob's and Aunt Sharon's home, two people who had been faithfully walking with God for years. My Aunt, who is an organist, played some hymns for us during my stay and I began calling for my childhood favourites - "It Is Well" among them. I explained to my Aunt that I loved this hymn and began hamming it up, going down as deep as I could with my singing voice.
Over the years both my Uncle and Aunt have reminded me of that moment - in cards, on Facebook and face to face. Good times and bad, I would see or hear - "Remember Dave, It is well!" So, as the tears formed in my eyes from the promise of God I remembered the reminder, that God is faithful and constant. Well, that pushed the tears from my eyes down my cheeks because not only will God make it well, but he, indeed, has made it well and so it is well with my soul.
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